My family hosted a family reunion for my mom’s side this past weekend. It was so much fun, especially since Aunt Karen, Uncle Craig, and my cousins Maggie and Cramer came one day early – Thursday. They live in Hillsboro, OR, and they hosted the family reunion last summer. Most everyone else showed up Friday night. It was really nice to see Uncle Chris Friday night, because we haven’t seen him since Mersie’s (my grandmother’s) funeral service in September 2009, I think. On Saturday, there was an early morning hike (I didn’t go and the guys went fishing), and lunch at my aunt’s house in Leavenworth. Papa showed up there – it was so nice to see him (his last name is Phalen, and and my mom’s maiden name is Harlow, so that is why we call ourselves Pharlows). And then we all went back to our house, and visited like crazy, and then ate pulled pork sandwiches for dinner. We had a photo session, and then a concert (a must-have at any Pharlow gathering). Sunday was a laid back day – most people left, but the Oregon Harlows, the Harlows who live in Brewster, WA, and Uncle Curt and my cousin Emma were still here. We went back to Aunt Lisa’s for a BBQ dinner, and then the Brewster Harlows left. Everyone else was staying at our house for one more night. It was a crazy weekend, but we all loved it so much! I so wish we all didn’t have to live so far away from each other. Here is a big group photo:
Back row left to right: Ryan, Bryan, Jordan, Jacqueline, Jake, Chase, Cramer. Middle row left to right: Maggie, Carlyn, Papa, Aliza, Taylor, Kristian. Bottom row left to right: Brooke, Lauren, Emma, me, Maxwell, Isaac, Connor, and Patrick. Not shown: Jesse and Maddie.
When planning a family reunion, what do you like to have on the agenda?
This is my 32nd post this month, so I can easily say I completed July’s Ultimate Blog Challenge!
On Wednesday, I got the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers award from Cheri over at Idle Chatter. Thank you, Cheri, for spreading the love my way! This Ultimate Blog Challenge month has been a true delight, because I got not one, not two, but three blog awards (Fabulous Blog Ribbon, Sunshine Award, and now this one). And to think I almost didn’t do this one for a number of reasons (it’s summer, my best friend got married in San Diego, family reunion weekend going on right now, but psssh, I can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING with God’s help).
Sisterhood Rules
thank the giver of the award
post 7 things about yourself
Pass the award on to 7 other bloggers and let them know they have been nominated
Include the logo of the award in a post or on your blog
7 things about me
The last movie I watched was “Beezus and Ramona.” I know, so babyish! But Sandra Oh was in it, and to my great surprise and delight, so was Ginnifer Goodwin. Love, love, love, love her!
I am slightly more than a little bit obsessed with The Vampire Diaries (the TV show, not the books). I LOVE Ian Somerhalder. He is sooo fine. Paul Wesley, meh. He is too much like Edward Cullen for his own good. I also LOVE the idea of sunlight rings, waaaay better than the idea of sparkly vamps. Really, Stephenie Meyer?
In Sue Grafton’s alphabet PI novels, the narrator, Kinsley, eats peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. I have made these sandwiches (never thought of the combo before) and LOVE them. The things I do because of reading…
When I was a child, I thought the words “healthy” and “wealthy” mean the same thing (healthy). Found out the hard way that they don’t (was laughed at).
I freaking love fairytales and musicals. I want Chris Colfer’s book “The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell” sooooooooo bad. Chris Colfer is awesomer (or more awesome) for writing it while doing Glee. He did TWO things at the same time! So what if he wrote the book for kids? I still want it.
My anthem is “Magic” by Olivia Newton-John (from the movie “Xanadu”). My favorite song ever – it is so versatile: it is originally a muse singing to her charge, but it can also be seen as being sung by a guardian angel or God. ”Magic” is my happy song. Come take my hand, you should know me, I’ve always been in your mind you know I’ll be kind, I will be guiding you….
The best piece of advice I have ever gotten came from 12 year old Jessica Joy Rees, who passed away in January from two inoperable brain tumors – DIPG. Her advice? Never Ever Give Up (NEGU). I didn’t know Jessie personally, but I’ll always carry her memory and her beautiful spirit in my heart.
I am finding this go around in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to be highly entertaining because people have created blog games and blog awards. Personally, I am enjoying reading these things. I love learning interesting things about interesting people. And now, apparently, we’re playing tag. Holly of Aggravation Station has made me “it” along with ten other people. Thank you, Holly, for thinking of me and inviting me to join in on the fun! I loved reading your answers to the questions that were posed to you, and I was delighted by your questions. You rock!
Here are the rules:
1. Post the rules. Check
2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for me in her post. I will try my best…
3. Create 11 new questions to ask those who I’m going to tag. I wanna know what is so special about the number 11.
4. Tag eleven people on the Facebook page with a link to this post. Sure, why not?
Here are Holly’s questions:
1. What are your guilty pleasures (you know those ones you love but are ashamed to admit) for the following:
Movie - Mamma Mia! (I am not ashamed of it, but I am a wee bit ashamed of how often I watch it)
Music - Grease soundtrack, or any soundtrack of any movie I watch… I think I am obsessed with soundtracks.
TV show - True Blood…. That show is so bizarre and messy and the characters have, like, no brains. It’s hilarious.
2. What’s one thing you did as a child/teenager that you know disappointed your parents?
I think the fact that I didn’t talk to them as much as I probably should have, as much as they would have liked. I kept stuff to myself and cried a lot (like A LOT) and refused to cooperate with the people who were trying to help me. Because, to me, in my head, I didn’t need it. So I didn’t want it. Stuff like physical therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy. And also, that I didn’t try harder in my math classes.
3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
Teleportation, Puh-LEASE!
4. What is your biggest fear?
That I will not live up to my potential.
5. If you could go for a beer or coffee with any one person, dead or alive, living or fictional, who would it be?
Oh, oh, oh! Please can it be Sarah Michelle Gellar?
6. What song do you want played at your funeral?
7. What’s one mundane thing you have to do just about every single day that you wish you could do without?
Putting on my hearing aids to hear… How I wish I didn’t have to wear them!
8. What talent do you wish you possessed that you currently don’t?
I dunno how many times I’ve wished I could just open my mouth and talk and be understood. People take it for granted. I know if I ever got this gift in this life, I would not. I would be thankful and use it wisely.
9. What did you wear to your highschool prom? Describe your outfit.
It was a long, green (they called it “mint” in the catalog) dress with flower detail at the shoulder? Waist? I cannot remember. White shoes.
10. If you didn’t require extra training or schooling, what would your dream job be?
Best-selling novelist, Jodi Picoult-esque!
11. What is your favourite household chore?
Going to get the mail… you know how it is – you never know what’s gonna be in there!
My questions for my taggees (and I am a firm believer in asking WHY)
1. If you could have one superpower/”gift” of your choosing, what would it be and why?
2. Who is your favorite author and book written by this author and why?
3. If you could wish away one of your shortcomings, which one would you choose and why?
4. If you could meet anyone alive or dead, who would it be and why?
5. What is your favorite comfort food? (I am not gonna ask why this time. Even I know some things just are.)
6. Who is your favorite Disney character and why?
7. What is your favorite season and why?
8. What is the best compliment you have ever received and who did it come from? Come on, I know you remember!
9. What is your first memory, ever?
10. Do you think world peace is possible? Why or why not?
I will not be offended if you decide not to play blog tag (or if you already have been tagged and don’t want to do it again), but it would be interesting to hear your answers to my questions. And to my other readers, I would dearly love to hear YOUR answers (I think I made it easier to comment on here, let me know).
Yesterday morning, I was a recipient of the Sunshine Award in the blogging ‘verse. It’s still pretty amazing to me that people actually read my blog and appreciate it for what it is. I’m not exactly surprised by this, as it is what I had hoped would happen when I started this blog, but I am pleased to be recognized. I know sometimes I don’t have the most uplifting posts out there (posting about the realities of childhood cancer and all of that), but I do try to remain positive. I already received the Fabulous Blog Ribbon and now I have gotten this award! Thank you, Miss Riki of Refreshingly Riki, for the acknowledgement and nomination! Go check out her blog when you have a chance. She is refreshingly honest and I love her take on things!
This award comes with a few very simple guidelines:
Post the award on your blog with a link back to the person who nominated you.
Answer the 10 given questions below.
Nominate and link to 10 fellow bloggers to pass along the honor.
Don’t’ forget to comment on your honoree’s blogs to share the love!
The questions and my answers
Who is your favorite philosopher?
I suppose Jesus counts as a philosopher… And yes, he is my favorite.
What is your favorite number?
Right now it is 3, because that is how old my niece is, and she is lovely! So much fun. I love this age!
What is your favorite animal?
It’s the dog, without a doubt, and the shih tzu is my favorite breed. I LOVE their lively, funny personalities. I love the fact that they look like Ewoks from Star Wars. I love my shih tzu dearly. And I love the fact that D-O-G is G-O-D backwards. I love this youtube video by Wendy J. Francisco.
Night time, because I am a night owl. It’s quiet and peaceful and I can pretend it’s just me and my dog…
What is your favorite vacation?
Going to Disneyland with my dad’s side of the family in March of 1997. I so desperately want to take my niece there! Someday!
What is your favorite physical activity?
Hahahahahahahaha…. I just fell out of my chair laughing! I can’t really move my body the way I want to, but when I am alone (with my doggy), I like to move to music. Buffy the shih tzu cannot laugh at me, and even if she could, I doubt she would… And oh! I just thought of another one! When my niece asks me to go down slides with her, I cannot refuse. :)
What’s your favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Everything that is not alcohol! LOL, no really, it’s Mountain Dew Voltage. It is delicious and it is blue. Or I could also say it is coffee… Dutch Bros, anyone?
What’s your favorite flower?
Pink roses
What is your passion?
Writing and advocating for children battling cancer.
The 10 Bloggers To Whom I Bestow The Sunshine Award
Once again, I’d like to thank Miss Riki for this award. It means a lot to me! And to all of the bloggers I’ve listed above, thanks for your fabulous blogs… I love being part of the blogging ‘verse, and I look forward to reading more from all of you!
I got the inspiration for this post from Courtney of What’s Up With the Wilhems. I really enjoyed reading her post on the topic, and thought I’d give it a try. Here is my list of the top 5 things I feel obligated to like
1. TV shows and movies with actor/actresses from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, no matter how minor their characters were – seriously, they’re like drugs for me. I see a familiar name pop up on the TV guide and I just have to record it. Just this week, I watched a recording of a LMN movie called “Circle of Friends.” Julie Benz starred in it. She was Darla in the first season of BtVS and then later took up the role again on Angel. ”Circle of Friends” was okay – it was about a woman (Benz) trying to figure out why her high school classmates were dying. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my first TV love, so of course I am gonna follow wherever the actors/actresses lead me… Names like Julie Benz, Charisma Carpenter, Alyson Hannigan, and of course, my lovely Sarah Michelle Gellar (whom I ADORE) draw me in like magnets. Granted, I normally LOVE (not just like) anything these people do (not The Grudge, though… That one gave me enough nightmares to last forever. Didn’t like it, hated it, but I bought it anyway. Watched it multiple times too, because I wanted to get it. I get it now, and I am sorry for it, Confession: Some of SMG’s movies just appall me because I know she is BETTER THAN THAT). And also, American Pie, anyone? Even when these people play bad/evil characters, I don’t hate them. The TV show Bones is a big one… At this point, I am just watching it for the hotness of David Boreanaz – it is sooooo hard to enjoy a show when you’re gagging at the special effects and graphic crime scenes, and yet I keep watching…
2. Getting Up Early – I suppose it has its benefits, and I do love having extra time to do what I need to do, and I love the quietness of the morning. HOWEVER, I can take the extra time at night, and it is quiet then too. I have grown to loathe the buzzing of my cell phone when I set the alarm on it. It is just so annoying.
3. The raunchy movies my brother Ryan makes me watch sometimes. Yeah, seriously. I may laugh during it, but what I am really feeling is appalled and grossed out. And still, my bottom remains planted on the couch…
4. Cartoons or Muppet Shows. I don’t mind putting them on for my 3 year old niece, but I am not interested whatsoever in watching them myself. It stems back to my childhood, and losing most of my hearing when I was two and a half. My parents didn’t know it until two years later, because I had adapted the way only a child can and taught myself how to read lips. Was bored watching Sesame Street, yet I loved Mister Rogers. BUT I don’t really have a problem with Disney movies. I loved Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, etc. *Shrug.* I am weird like that. I cannot wait to watch them all again with closed captioning… And oh, Miss Piggy annoys the heck out of me. Actually, all those muppets do.
5. American Horror Story. This one stems back to the first item on this list. I absolutely adore what Ryan Murphy has done with Glee, and whereas I haven’t actually watched American Horror Story (so many people told me not to), I definitely want to and I definitely feel obligated to at least try to watch it. Because Ryan Murphy is like another Joss Whedon (um, yeah, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) to me. Oh, and Joss Whedon? I have to watch everything he does too… LOL.
So yeah, that is my list! I would be interested to know what you feel obligated to like, so feel free to tell me in the comments!
Today, I want to take a difference stance on the gratitude list. Today, I am grateful for my body, my anchor to this world, because it allows me to be here. I am even grateful for my body’s weaknesses, because it is what has allowed me to be where I am today. It has put me in position to open my heart to the children who are suffering from childhood cancer, to follow their journeys on Facebook, and to be able to pray for them. Right now, I know this is what I am supposed to be doing. It feels right. And I am even thankful for the sadness that comes with it, when I find out that a child has passed away. It just makes me more determined to see the end of this monster.
Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for the fact that the child is no longer suffering, but I am so sad for his or her family and friends. I am also very sad for this world, because a light has been blown out in it. The world will never again have this child or his or her unique gifts. Thoughts like these bring me down, yeah, but they also make me fight harder, so that maybe one day, there will finally be a day when seven children will not die. And that day will be just the beginning. It starts when a childhood cancer diagnosis does not mean a death sentence, even if the cancer is DIPG (brain stem cancer). Instead, a cancer diagnosis would be just a bump in the road. It will be treated and the child will be cured of it.
I very much believe I am a different person than I was before I started following sick children. I am more centered, focused. And maybe I am not the best judge of this, but I do try not to complain about anything anymore. Why? Because I know things can be so much worse than they are. Because I know I could be dead. And I am thankful that I am not. Everything that I have been through has made me the person I am today, and the same goes for everyone else. If we stop to think about it, we will always have more things to be grateful for than we do things to complain about. And what good is complaining anyway? Chances are, nobody else can make it better for you but you.
Confidence is important because it is what allows you to be the best possible “you” you can be. After all, who can you trust if you cannot trust yourself? Me… I wasn’t always as confident as I am now, but yesterday does not matter anymore, does it? I love reading lists other people make on their blogs, and I love making lists, so when I came across this prompt, I knew I had to do it. As you read this list, I hope it resonates with you as well.
I am confident that I love. When I love somebody, I look her/him at through God’s eyes.
That is how everyone should love. When this world was created, there was no hate, no disease, no wars, etc. The world is what it is because we made it that way. Have we learned our lesson? I hope so. I know I have. I don’t want to hurt anyone, ever. I am human, though, and I do make mistakes.
I am confident that I am loved. How else could I have made it this far if I wasn’t?
I’d be nothing today if I wasn’t loved. I was blessed with a loving family who nurtured me and encouraged me to be all God created me to be. I am not quite there yet, but I’m on my way. I am also blessed with the most amazing friends on this planet. I know that, no matter what, I’ll never ever be truly alone.
Philippians 1:6 – I am confident that he who began a good work in me will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
God will not give up on me because it is not in his nature. When I fall, I look to him to help me up. And when I succeed, I praise him, because he has made my success possible. He strengthens me when I am weak, and for that, I am so grateful. I find that I am weak more than I am strong, but he causes me to be strong when it counts the most.
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Everything is falling into place. I know now that everything happens for a reason, even if we cannot see the reason behind everything that happens at the times they are happening. We just have to trust, work with God through our insecurities, and eventually we will come out the other side. God’s way is better. Always.
Not to sound cliquey, but the best is yet to be.
You either believe or you don’t. Personally, I find it pretty puzzling when people tell me that they don’t believe in God. Just look at this world. Everything you see, every bit of suffering here, is here because man is stubborn and didn’t (still doesn’t) think he needs God. If this world was all there is, I’d be pretty disappointed. Heartbroken, even. Inconsolable. I choose to believe in Heaven, a perfect Garden of Eden. It’s man’s fault that the world is the way it is. But with Jesus, we are given a chance to redeem ourselves. We have a shot at paradise. It will be the very best that God has to offer us, because we will no longer be separated from him.
I believe that God does not want us to suffer. He does not spend his time trying to think of ways to make us miserable. If he did, he wouldn’t be God. Satan is the great Enemy. He’s the one that we should turn our backs on, not God. He’s the reason why there is so much bad in this world. He’s the reason why some children do not get to grow up, why there is so much suffering in the world.
I think people spend so much time thinking about God that they forget that there is someone else… someone who lurks and does not have our best interests in mind. Someone who wants to permanently separate us from God. But there is someone, and his name is Satan. Remember him? He is not a god, just a fallen angel; therefore, he isn’t equal to God, nor is he God’s opposite. He has limited power, which is why he needs us to do his dirty work for him. When you hear him start to whisper, you can tell him to knock it off, to go away. We are children of God – we are all made by God – and Satan has no claim on us, no matter how much he tries to convince us he does.
I think I always knew what I was supposed to do. With writing, that was easy, because once I learned how, it opened up a whole new world for me. Suddenly, I knew I could make myself be understood. From a very young age, I loved being read to, and often wanted the same book read over and over and over again. I couldn’t get enough. I was introduced to worlds beyond this one, to the magic of escape. My reality was harsh, because the outside of me didn’t, and still doesn’t and never will in this life, match the inside of me. Now though, I am used to it, and don’t really see all the stuff I cannot do, because I am too busy doing what I can do.
Ever since I was told I had cancer when I was a baby, that I wasn’t born with these physical disabilities, this hearing loss, this speech impediment, I have always wondered why on earth I was alive. Now, though, I think I finally get it. I am here today to do what I have been so immersed in the last two years – childhood cancer advocacy. Maybe I’ve always known this. I’ve always been drawn to stories about childhood cancer, both real and in fiction. Perhaps it is because I can’t remember my own experience with cancer, and I’m thirsty for whatever shred of truth I can get. I think it took me longer to become self-aware because of this. I didn’t really start to compare my body to everybody else’s until after I got the scoliosis brace in elementary school. It was like someone dimmed the lights on me. I was different. I couldn’t ever be “normal” no matter how many times I wished it.
This is the main reason why I am fighting this fight, because I remember all too well what it is like to be small, afraid, and helpless. To be so scared of this big bad world that rushes on each day as if you don’t matter. I spent my childhood living mostly from my head. I remember nights, laying in the darkness, imagining a better world. Imagining that my house was part of a train, and that when I woke up in the morning, I would be in a new place, leaving my hurts behind. What had happened that day didn’t matter. It was gone, a part of the past. And the people who stared at me, teased me, ignored me? They’d be gone and in their place would be angels who would accept me and love me. ’Cause that is all I wanted. That’s all anybody wants. I know this because everyone is human, and human beings thrive on love. Of course, they thrive on hate as well, but in a different, harmful way.
I’m wondering what it was like for you when you were growing up, my dear readers. Did you know, like me? Did you fight your destiny, like me? Are you living your dream, or are you just making do with what you have? You don’t have to settle. Whoever told you that is a liar, even if it was yourself. I am slowly waking up to the truth of who I am and the reasons why I’m still here in this life, in this body with its limitations, and I feel empowered. I know I can do this. I know I cannot do it without God’s help. He is, after all, the sole reason why I am still here.
Yesterday, I got asked to be a part of something that is going to be HUGE. If you’re on Facebook, maybe you have heard of it – it is called TheTruth365. Remember that Kony 2012 video that went viral in March? TheTruth365 is making a ground-breaking documentary film to shed light on children fighting cancer, giving them a voice. Individual voices are not loud enough – in order to be heard, we need our screams to become a deafening roar. We need to become lions, tigers, and bears for our kids; I know, I know, it is not as if we are not already lions, tigers, and bears…. together we can become even more fierce and make our voices heard. The children do not have a voice? Well, we’ll give them a voice! The film will focus on the state of childhood cancer funding (to which I say, “YEAH!”) by “uniting the childhood cancer community, all candidates for Congress, top pediatric oncologists, and several of the most influential celebrities.”
This video, unlike the Kony 2012 documentary, will not be a scam. It will be honest, true (hence the name, TheTruth365), and it will not shelter anyone from the harsh reality of childhood cancer. For, indeed, it is very, very, very harsh. Forty six kids diagnosed every single day is harsh. Seven kids dying every single day is harsh.
I have known about this from day one (the community Facebook page was launched last month), and yesterday, I became a part of it. Brian Jones, fellow blogger and father of a little boy with cancer, was asked to help lead the charge in this social media campaign that will hopefully turn more heads than we, in our humanness, can ever dream it will. I was very excited and honored when Brian asked me to be on his team. And you betcha I accepted. I say, get ready, world. You’re about to come face to face with the truth.
Here’s where you come in: if you have a Facebook profile, go to TheTruth365 and like it if you haven’t already. And then share the page anywhere and everywhere. You can help it grow – let’s see if we can get it to 5,000 likes by the end of this month.
I am going to use the UBC prompt from yesterday, because it inspires me. If I were on a magazine cover, it would definitely be either Writer’s Digest or some magazine dealing with childhood cancer issues, like Touched By Cancer magazine. It would be an absolute dream come true to be on the cover of the first, because if I was, I would have had written a novel and gotten published. And it would definitely be a honor to be on the second, because I would be sharing my story with the people who need to hear it the most – parents, patients, other survivors, etc. etc.
With the Writer’s Digest cover story, I could even spread the word about childhood cancer, since that is what my novel is about (not “is going to be about” but IS). And maybe, just maybe, I could inspire another writer to take up the topic and run with it. Children suffering from pediatric cancer need to be upfront and center, because our future, our very livelihood as a society, a country, a world, depends on them. If they perish, their promise also perishes, and we are left with nothing but the what-if questions. What if that child had a chance to grow up and be someone? Who would he or she have been? Lights are blown out all over the world every single day because of this monster. Hope dies. Sorrow reigns. This is what I want to expose – the relentlessness of this monster.
I haven’t told my story enough, and I don’t think I ever will until there is as much (or more would be nice) childhood cancer awareness out there as there is breast cancer awareness, until we are finding cures left and right, until the truth is heard by the masses or until I take my last breath. And if I have to, I will continue to fight this fight from the other side. I’ll haunt politicians, if that is what it takes. They can take their stupid form letters that their people write for them and… what Minny Jackson said in The Help. I’m writing for the kids, and they need help. I fail to see the difficulty in understanding that.
