Love and Gratitude

It’s been a while (again) since I last did a gratitude list.  This week is perfect to do one, because although I won’t be home when this publishes, I will be in a place that is full of love, laughter, happiness, and yes, there will be at least some tears.  But these will be happy tears, because my best friend is marrying the love of her life today.

So this is what I am thankful for:

1.  My mom and dad, who are the best ever.  Without them, I would be unmotivated, uninspired…  Aaugh!  Who am I kidding here?  Without my parents, I would not even exist!  My mom and dad believe in me – they have since the moment they knew they were expecting me, despite my being a surprise (!) baby.  And without them, I would not be where I am now, both literally and figuratively.  Because they NEGU (Never Ever Give Up) on me, I NEGU either.  I am indebted to my parents, always.

2.  My friendship with Tammy – she is my best friend from high school, and I am so happy that she asked me to stand up for her today.  We’ve both been through a lot in our lives, both individually and together, and I am so happy that she  found Curtis, and that they will be building a future together on a foundation built from love, trust, friendship, loyalty, and everything else that is good.  I was changed from day one of my and Tammy’s friendship, because on that day, I started to learn that anything was possible and that life may seem limited but it isn’t really – The only limits I had were imaginary.  I so hope today is everything Tammy envisioned and more.  She deserves it!

3.  I am grateful for the little things, such as sleep (which is really a big thing, because no one can live without it for very long), helping hands, no matter who they belong to, because I have always and will always need help in this life, the ability to laugh despite the pain of life.  And I am really, really, really grateful to God, who has not left me, not even for a second, since the moment I took my first breath, even before that moment.  That still, small voice deep inside of me is the true reason why I NEGU.

 

HEAVEN IS HOME

I don’t know how certain people believe this life is all that there is.  We are made up of energy, and energy has to go somewhere at all times.  It cannot just dissipate – if it could, it would not be energy, but something else.  And we had to have come from somewhere, right?  So why not God?  Why not heaven?  The science of it would not exist without a beginning – if humans were already here to begin with.  It is nice to think we’re all related, one big happy family, traceable back to Adam and Eve.  I am not one to have a lot of patience when it comes to genealogy, but it is interesting to hear my grandfather talk about it.

I consider this world my temporary home.  There has to be more than pain and suffering, and it would be a beautiful thing to be reunited with the people we knew and loved but lost along the way.  This world gets us down more often than not, but I see a rainbow at the end of the storm.  We don’t belong here.  We belong with God.  We are here to make a difference, on loan.  We are here to fight for what is right, to love, to change things for the better.  Some people lose focus while we are here.  They become enamored with this world, and they think of death as the end of their existence.  But, oh, it’s only the beginning!

Heaven is home – no matter what happens to us in our lives, we will always have heaven.  It is some place beyond a veil so thin it’s amazing that we are very often unaware of that world.  Living people are surrounded by light and love, and by their loved ones on the other side.  It’s okay if you don’t believe it.   Everyone has the right to think for themselves, no matter what the collective world says.

I don’t know if it was my imagination or not, but last night, when I was reading in bed, I heard something that I should have not been able to hear because I did not have my hearing aids in:  screaming.  And no, I am not crazy and I wasn’t anywhere close to sleep when I heard it.  It was a long and shrill sound, and I heard it more than once.  I put down my book and held my breath for a minute before reaching up and putting my fingers in my ears.  Go away, please, whoever you are.  You’re scaring me.  I probably forgot the word please though.  Silence.  I tried to shrug it off, but the memory is still with me.  What was it?  What was the point of scaring me like that?  I don’t know.  The thing is, my dog, Buffy, did not react to the screaming at all.  Only I heard it.  It’s time for you to go home, whoever you are.  Maybe I am crazy after all.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Top pictures: Mom is in the center of her family photo (this was before she met my dad), my mom and me just after I was born, the Cloakey gang on Christmas Eve 2010. Bottom pictures: Aliza and her Nana, one of my parents' wedding pictures (1980), my mom and dad, and my parents with my brother Patrick and his fiance Angelica after he proposed. Even more happy times are ahead.

Today is Friday the thirteenth, indeedy, it is.  But it is also my mom’s birthday.  My dad had ordered her a Kindle Fire (I’m jealous!) and he gave it to her this morning.  He won’t be here tonight as he has a game in Omak and won’t be home until midnight or after.  He also let her order two things she wanted out of a catalog.  He told me this morning (Mom was upstairs getting ready for the day) that when he gave her the Kindle Fire, she asked him, “Why did you let me order those other things?”  His response?  ”Because you wanted them.”

Awww.  My dad is so good to her.  He told me early in the week about the Kindle Fire, because he wanted me to intercept it so she wouldn’t see it before today.  He also said he ordered a new vacuum cleaner as well, because he had broken the one we had.  When the vacuum came on Tuesday, I thought (foolishly) that it was my mom’s present, and text my dad, panicking.  While I waited for a response, I managed to pull the big box into the house and push it all the way back to my room.  Clearly, I wasn’t thinking.  When my dad answered my text, I felt stupid and pushed the big box back out to the kitchen.

We all have our moments!

He joked with my mom:  ”How do you like your birthday present?”

Because she knew that she was getting something else, she smiled and said, “This is not my birthday present.”  But she had no idea about the Kindle Fire.

Last night, I was walking to my room and I saw the new vacuum on the floor.  I pointed at it and said, “That’s so cute!”  And my dad said, “I know, that is why I got it!”  And if any of you care, you can see the one he got here.

Today, my brother Ryan and sister Jacqueline  are coming home, and Patrick and Angelica are coming over with Aliza.  PAR-TAY!