November Gratitude List Part 2

11.  I am thankful for our veterans, because without their selflessness, their sacrifices, their commitment, and their bravery, we could not live the lives we do.  We would not be free.  Freedom isn’t free.  It comes at a price, and often, that price is one of blood.

12.  I am thankful for the fact that, even though every now and then, we have natural disasters like the recent Hurricane Sandy, we can pull together and help one other.  Just letting someone know that you are there for them does wonders for the soul, yours and theirs.

13.  I am VERY thankful that the 2012 presidential election is over (praise the good Lord in Heaven!), and I pray for President Obama…  that he will accomplish everything he has said he will do and will say he will do.  I pray that he will be a strong source of change for the better, and won’t be hampered by those who refuse to believe in him.  The rest is in God’s hands.

14. I am thankful for the good things that are headed my way, for I know that they are coming.  God has said, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)  Because of that, I will face the bad stuff with my head held high and NEGU.

15.  I am thankful, so thankful, for music, and I am beyond grateful that I am able to hear it.  Life is kinda like a musical for me (like Glee or The Sound of Music).  There is always, always, always a song in my head.  Never a quiet moment!

16.  I am thankful for food, shelter, clothing, basic necessities that I often take for granted.  I am trying to eat better, take more vitamins (really bad about that, unless I am on a streak, but my friend Jennifer B is right…  I do need to get better at taking vitamins.  Don’t want to get a deficiency of any kind and I will have more energy if I just take the stinkin’ vitamins, so, yep, thankful for vitamins!), and trying to clean ALL the things (thanks Hyperbole and a Half for that phrase, use it all the time now) more often.

17.  I am thankful for each day as it comes, because the truth is, I am so lucky to be alive.  God knows what he is doing with my life, and that is good enough for me.  Once upon a time, it wasn’t, and I demanded to know why, and when He was silent, I turned away from Him.  But I was led back to Him…  all roads lead home, no matter where I am.

18.  I am thankful for entertainment (TV, books, movies/dvds), for it is a great distraction, and takes me out of my world for awhile.  I need that for a little while each day.  I need to escape.  I need a little fiction mixed in with the reality, a little fantasy.  I need to worry about made-up problems for a while, get lost in another world.  It is because of this I have no interest in reality shows.

19.  I am thankful for the simple things that make life bearable when it is unbearable – pain relievers, coffee, hugs, words of encouragement, the comfort and security of my bed, the knowledge that I am loved and that I am fully capable of loving in return.  Also, body butter, to which I have just been re-introduced.  Ever since my last back surgery, my back itches endlessly, and I have gotten to the point where I am used to it, it doesn’t bother me.  My aunt Lisa gave me some body butter for my birthday, and ohmygosh! I could tell the difference. Instant relief.

20.  I am thankful for all the earth angels in my life, the people who lend a helping hand, who smile at me, who hug me, and make me feel safe and loved.  The ones who say the encouraging words I so need to hear, the ones who let me love on THEM.  And the ones from afar, the ones I have yet to meet in person.  I am thankful for you all.  Please know that even if we don’t meet on this side of life, we will meet in Heaven without a doubt.

November Gratitude List Part 1

 

I started a gratitude list on Facebook yesterday.  The deal is to list something you are grateful for every single day this month, but because I probably won’t remember some days, I am posting them all here, in 3 separate posts.  So here goes!

1.  I am thankful I can offer hope to other families when I tell them I am a stage 4 neuroblastoma survivor. There is nothing like hope, I tell you.  It is what inspires us to NEGU.  Childhood cancer advocating is a large part of what I was born to do.

2.  I am thankful that I was born into one of the BEST families out there (and yes, I’m kinda biased).  I have so many treasured memories!  My family never ever gave up on me, and I know that they will continue to never ever give up.  Because of that, I will NEGU either.

3.  I am thankful for my friends…  old and new.  You guys make my world go round!  There are too many of you to name, so I won’t even attempt to because of the risk of forgetting some of you, but you know who you are.  The love of my biological family and my adopted family (my friends) will always be one of the very best parts of me.

4.  I am thankful for the support and love of the close-knit childhood cancer community on Facebook, which welcomed me as an advocate and a survivor with open arms.  We NEGU for the kids.

5.  I am thankful the warmth of my home and for the coldness of the season (and the next) which just makes me appreciate the warmth even more.  Hot chocolate, my mom’s homemade soups and sweet treats, and warm, comfortable clothes make the cold tolerable.  Ha.

6.  I am thankful I live in United States of America and for the fact that I am free and capable of making up my own mind about things.  No one has the right to tell me that I am wrong, and if they do, so what?  I know who I am, and what I stand for, and that’s all that matters.

7.  I am thankful for my little dog, even though she thinks my bed is HERS.  I love it when she lays her head on my leg/ ankle/foot/whatever it may be.  The joy of having a dog, especially this dog, is indescribable.  Her company is priceless to me.  I even love waking up to find that she is edging me out of bed – because it means that she’s there and I’m not alone.  She just wants to be close to me.  She knows she is loved!

8. I am thankful for the gift of my lil niece, Miss Aliza.  She’s growing up so fast, and is so smart and funny and beautiful.  She helps me look at the world from a different perspective (that of a child) than mine.  Children have a tendency to remind us what is really important, and I pray that I’ll never forget the lessons Aliza teaches me.  Being her aunt is one of the greatest blessings of my life, and I cannot wait to meet whoever comes along next!

9.  I am thankful for the fact that, even though we hurt so much in this life, there is also great healing too.  In the end, everything will be okay.  If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.  Sometimes, the healing is not on this side of life, but in Heaven.  And that’s okay.  I am also grateful for the knowledge that, no matter how much I don’t understand it, God does NOT give children cancer.  He does NOT give anyone cancer or any other disease.  He allows it, that is true, but we just have to trust He has his reasons.  Perhaps that reason is so we could be at a certain place at a certain time.  We won’t know in this lifetime.  When we all get to heaven, this life will seem like a dream compared to eternity with everyone we love and will love in our lifetimes.  As little Starla Chapman said, “Just trust.”

10.  I am thankful for God’s plan, because even though I may not see what He sees or know what He knows, everything that is going to happen is happening on His terms, not mine.  If He just left me alone to deal with things by myself, I would not be here today.  I truly believe that.  He has GRACE and I have GRATITUDE, and it’s all going to be fine in the end.  I’ve surrendered my heart and I’m trusting.  That said, I don’t have any idea how anyone can look at the messes this world makes and not believe in something better, in a perfect place where everything is as it should be.  THIS can’t be all there is.  We have to be more than what we already are, because if there’s nothing else after this, there is no reason to get out of bed and do the same things we did the day before.  If there is nothing else after this, then hope dies.  And hope never dies.  It can’t…  because if it did, it wouldn’t be hope.

TheTruth365 preview Day 2: Turning Awareness to Action

Some kids survive cancer and they and their families never look back.  I understand this – everybody deals with stuff in their own way, everybody grieves differently, and no one is ever the same.  But, as Buffy the Vampire Slayer once said, “Every now and then, people surprise you.”  Some people lose their children, but they keep fighting, because they know that’s what their children would want.  They keep fighting so that one day, no other parent will have to suffer through the agony of saying goodbye to their babies.  They keep fighting because they would want someone to fight for them.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Nothing is gonna change without awareness.  It can’t.  Awareness leads to emotions, and emotions lead to action.  There is so much you can do, if you just stop and think about it.  You can start like I did, simply by reading everything you can get your hands on about childhood cancer.  I soaked it up like a sponge, I really did.  Start talking about it with your friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even even strangers.  I know most people don’t like to dwell on sad things, and I understand that.  But look at it this way.  If everyone looked the other way, absolutely nothing would change.  History is full of changes, if you look back on it.  Once upon a time, African Americans were slaves, women couldn’t vote or even go to college, and now look:  We have an African American for President, and women can vote, go to college, do anything and everything men can.  They can fight in wars and fly airplanes.  Men even are staying home and raising the kids while their wives’ careers take off!

If things like that can change, I don’t see why childhood cancer awareness can’t turn into action against it.  Please, if you can, whenever you can, give blood and platelets (something very important, because blood is life).  Children need it.  Your child may need it one day, or a child you know.  Kids cannot fight cancer alone.  They need an army of fierce advocates behind them.  They need us.  They need YOU.

Form Letter from NY Governor and Plan of Action

State of New York

EXECUTIVE CHAMBER

ANDREW CUOMO, GOVERNOR

Dear Ms. Cloakey,

Thank you for your recent letter.  To build a stronger, better New York, we need the participation of citizens like you – sharing your ideas, comments, and concerns.  Your input is invaluable to our mission to create a government that works for its people, and I appreciate you taking the time to contribute your feedback.

I want to assure you that your letter has been received and that it will be read and shared with the appropriate members of my staff.

I encourage you to visit my website, http://govenor.ny.gov where you can review my Administration’s initiatives and familiarize yourself with my office and YOUR state government.

Thank you for again for sharing your perspective and for joining in the effort to build a new New York.

Sincerely,

Andrew M. Cuomo

It is a start.  It is better than nothing, and it does state that my letter will be shared with others.  I hope that is the truth, and not just a platitude.  I am fighting for the kids, first and foremost, and they deserve so much more than platitudes.  They deserve LIFE.

Last night, I was plagued with awful dreams about pediatric cancer.  Bald little children, crying, throwing up, wires everywhere, loose hair in little hands.  Temper tantrums.  The images were just flashes, one right after another.  I could recognize everybody and nobody.  The impassive faces of doctors who delivered bad news to parents.  I woke up multiple times because it was so horrible, but then, when I fell back to sleep, it started up right where it left off.  Mothers with clenched fists and clenched hearts.  Fathers punching walls.  And the sound of screaming and crying.  It was endless.  Finally, I woke up and scrambled out of bed because I could not take anymore.  It’s reality for hundreds and thousands of families out there, I know.

What can be done?  More letters can be written.  I don’t care if my hand falls off, as long as the children get the funding and research they need…  As long as somethimg comes out of so many innocent lives lost.  The possibilities here are endless.  We are writing to governors now.  We can write to newspapers, senators, the President, the President’s wife.  We can write directly to the National Institute of Health, since they are the ones that dole out the research money.  I don’t know how it works, how they decide how much money to give, but only 3% of $3 billion is utterly ridiculous.  Especially when pediatric cancer is more prevalent than pediatric AIDS (which gets more).

We’re doing what we can at the moment.  Maybe someday soon, it will be more than writing letters.  Maybe someday, cancer be eradicated.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  I can imagine a better world for our children, a healthier world.  And if I can do it, so can you and everybody else.

The War on Terrorism Problem Pile

 Anyone who thinks that he or she has it bad, that his or her life cannot possibly get any worse than it is at present, should just go try living in Central Africa for a week.  Or maybe he or she should just go spend some time on a children’s oncology ward.  That would be the cheaper option, and he or she (probably) won’t get killed doing so.

I know I don’t really talk about current events on here, but today I am going to.  Yesterday, a soldier from the state of Washington opened fire upon Afghanistan civilians, killing 16 people, nine of whom were children.   That is a tragedy.  Downright shocking.  I mean, the Americans are supposed to be the good guys, right?  So what are they doing shooting up villages of defenseless civilians?

And to top it all off, the Taliban is vowing to avenge these deaths.

If this keeps up, this war and the dozen or so like it (okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit) will never be over.  So it’s okay for them to kill us and our children, but when it is our soldiers doing the killing, it’s not okay?

I am in no way advocating revenge killing.  An eye for an eye does not work, because the cycle keeps going.  One person kills another person to avenge someone else, and another person kills the killer, and so on and so forth.  Where do we draw the line?  If we cannot count on the enemy to be the bigger person and stop the vicious cycle, than we must be.  Of course, we cannot ignore something as big as 9/11.  We cannot ignore the terrorists, especially when we are turning into terrorists ourselves.

It seems that the military base where this rogue soldier was from might have had a hand in what happened.  It’s not just rogue soldiers – it’s a whole base.   Whether it is a lack of discipline or something else altogether, there is a problem, and that problem is creating more problems for us.  And there’s no end in sight.