“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a (NIV)
Most of the time when I think I can’t do something, it’s because I do not have any energy. Everything seems too hard. I just want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers. I don’t feel like doing anything, so I don’t. But I am not on this earth to do nothing. What would be the point of that?
My views on God and religion have changed quite a bit since I was in high school. I have seen more, I understand more, and I love more.
I also understand less.
For example, I don’t understand how people can be so intolerant of others. To me, there isn’t any God in intolerance. Sometimes it is disguised as ignorance, but it is still intolerance. My whole life, I have struggled to understand the purpose of everything. I have asked God why a lot. I still do. But it is becoming clearer to me, what I am meant to do.
I know writing will be a huge part of getting everything started for me. It already has started something… it started you reading, didn’t it? And maybe understanding more. Of what, I don’t know. But I do hope it’s something.
My life, I am used to it by now. I know there will always be things I cannot do, always be things I WISH I could do. But you know what? It’s been years since I have last mourned this. I guess I am more comfortable with my body (in high school, I always regarded it as a prison I had no hope of escaping), and I am more aware of what I can or can’t do. Oh, there are times when I wish I can just drop everything and escape, just pick a place on a map and go there. I’d wish I can communicate verbally better every single day.
If wishes were horses, even beggars would ride…
But I know I am right where I am meant to be. And maybe, if I could communicate clearly, I wouldn’t have taken to writing so well.
What we see as curses aren’t necessarily so. Sometimes we have to dig a little deeper to get the blessing. 🙂