I started this blog to motivate me to write more than I was before. It’s working. 🙂 For someone who wants to be published so badly, I sure do procrastinate a lot. Mostly on facebook. I have seen some improvement though. For some reason, it’s easier for me to blog than it is to write with a pen in a notebook. Mainly because I edit so much as I go. Ha.
For me, personally, writing is a way I can express myself clearly, without fear of being misunderstood. I have to live with that fear every single time I open my mouth. It’s not my fault. That’s just how I am. I’ve accepted that. I don’t like it – I’ll never like it, but I’ve gotten used to it. I want to be a novelist because I want to be able to escape in my writing. Make up worlds beyond this one, like in my dreams at night. Most of the time, I am not disabled in my dreams, which is nice, you know? I have a way to escape. In reality, my mind needs to escape, and it does that by spilling out through my fingers to the keyboard, to the screen and onto my blog (where it remains until a) it’s deleted by me or b) cyberspace eats it.
So, in short, I blog because I really don’t have a choice. I want writing to be my life, and so it is. It has to be, because without it, I am afraid that I wouldn’t have much of a life… either within me or on the outside. Having a blog is like being in school again and having homework, something I used to get giddy about until time passed and it got old (I know… geek, much?).
Maybe I don’t miss school as much as I do the structure of it, as well as the feeling of accomplishment that goes with completing something.
Blogging allows me to drop pieces of myself into cyberspace… for all to see and read. And yes, I know I will be judged by what I put out there and what I don’t. Who cares? Life is short. We have no idea how long we have. So we might as well make the most of it, right? If I am lucky, I will help others through my words, through this blog, and hopefully SOON, I will start to help myself begin a novel. I want to write one soooooooo bad. You have absolutely no idea how much I want to. I want to do it to help myself as well as others, so it’s not entirely selfish. Writing a book, however, does not mean that people will read it – or the RIGHT people will read it. All I can do is just write it, send it out into the world , hold my breath, and see what happens next.
It sounds easier than it actually is….