You know what they say: Patience is a virtue. I don’t think I know anybody who is really, really, really patient. Other than God, of course. When we are expecting something, we want it now, not two days from now, not next year, not in ten years. It is human, but that is not to say that patience is inhumane. I think patience is a godly virtue, and we need to practice it in order to achieve it. Practice makes perfect, after all.
It is hard sometimes to write, because I do not have any clue if it’s ever going to get me anywhere. But maybe it already is. What I write is being read. That is what matters most, right? It is human to want more than what we have, though. It would be nice if I could point my finger at my laptop and pages upon pages would type themselves. I can see that as being the cure to my procrastination. But alas! I may be an idealist, but I also live in reality. And most of reality is not magic. Reality is hard to face sometimes, especially if you are bombarded with negativity on all sides. I think that is where idealism comes in, to protect us.
I’m done waiting. My future is not going to be everything I want it to be if I do nothing. I have to make it happen. And I will. God and I will make it happen. I refuse to be stuck forever. I am going to write my heart out. I am going to make myself even when it is the last thing I want to do. It will be exhausting, no doubt, but it will also be worth it, in the end. Because then, I’ll know for sure that I gave my life all of me. I don’t want people to sit around at my funeral shaking their heads, saying, “What a shame. What a waste. She had so much potential.” I’m going to pour out all that potential. Everything inside me, all that I am, is going to go out there in the world. I know I have to be patient with myself. It’s not all going to come out anytime soon. It will take time. But it will be a labor of love, I am finally ready to be strong.