Dear M,

My heart breaks for you everyday, and I’ve have a feeling that this is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life.  I can’t even imagine the depth of your  grief over losing your baby boy.  I am sorry.  I am so sorry.  I am sorry that he’s gone, that you’ll be reminded that he is gone everyday.  I am sorry that you will feel the pain of his not being there in everything you do and everywhere you go.  I hope you know that there are lots of people who, if they could, would bring him back to you.  I hate everything about his being gone, but I know I don’t hate it as much as you do.  I can’t, because I wasn’t his mama.  You were.  How lucky you were and how lucky you still are!

I feel like I know you inside and out, and I often forget that our friendship is barely there.  We don’t talk much, and I understand that.  I told you that I am a survivor of the monster that took away your Ronan, and I’ve mostly let you sit with that.  I am not going to push you into anything you don’t want, but I do hope you know that I am here for you.  Always and forever.  I don’t remember how exactly I stumbled onto your blog, but it was early last year, and I went back and read everything you ever wrote on your blog after reading most recent one.  I’m at a loss to describe how I felt when I read that Ronan had passed away.  Devastated doesn’t even come close.  I imagine it doesn’t even come close to describing how you felt either.

I admire you, because even though you lost your son, you keep fighting for Ronan and you keep fighting for the other children who are battling cancer.  The world need this – and the world needs YOU.  Thank you for igniting this fire within me as well.  Thank you for sharing your Ronan with the world.  I have no idea what I was doing with my time before I started reading your blog posts.  Your Ronan was beautiful, so very beautiful.  And yes, he was spicy too.  I am glad you are now carrying his beauty and spiciness everywhere you go.

Both you and Ronan are loved so much more than you think.


I'd love to know what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s