I want to tell you everything, but because you know it all all ready, I think it doesn’t matter if I do or not. My heart is in the right place, at least most of the time. But sometimes I get lazy, or I get scared because there is a mountain of work ahead of me. I don’t think I have what it takes to do it, and that that is not true, because I have you, and together, we can do anything.
Children are hurting and dying everyday, and nothing is being done about it. Pediatric cancer is awful. I may not remember my fight, but you do. And there are so many being taken early. Why? Maybe I’ll never understand this until I am within the gates of Heaven, and until then, I will fight. I know it wasn’t originally the plan, letting things such as cancer into this world. I know it wasn’t your intention for us to suffer the way we do. And I know you’ve promised, this isn’t all there is to our existence. It’s so hard, though, for the parents, siblings, extended families, and friends to cope after you take someone away. I understand why you come though… human doctors are just so limited in what they can give to cure, especially now, when funding is so low. Please show us how to change this. Children need to come first – there isn’t any future without them.
I know you have the families that are grieving surrounded by love and light and angels. No one is every truly alone. Of all your promises, the one in John 16:33 is my favorite…
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
You haven’t just overcome cancer, but the whole world! I know we don’t listen to you nearly as often as we should, but we’re trying. The awfulness of this world gets in the way of the good most of the time, and people forget that you are there, loving them, yearning to be loved by them. But the good news is that you are there, and you will always be there.
Please continue to be patient with me. I am afraid of trying and failing, but I know all to well that I’ve already failed if I don’t try. Your will, Lord, not mine. Always and forever.