Pure Astonishment

It’s pure astonishment that the world is not more childhood-cancer-aware.  I mean that seriously, in a bad way.  Is it that people do not like to think about it, so that therefore, it does not exist for them?  If only the world worked like that.  If only we could erase all the bad things.  If only I could say, “It is what it is” and move on.  But that is not me.  That will never ever be me.  And you know that saying…  if wishes were horses, even beggars would ride.  Pediatric cancer is real.  As real as it gets for me, and for every single parent of every single sick child, every single parent who is grieving the loss of their child and will be grieving for the rest of their lives.  I may be a survivor, but I am reminded every single day – in the way I move, the way I speak, the way other people react to me, and the physical scars on my body.

“Instructions for living a life:  Pay attention.  Be astonished.  Tell about it.”  ~ Mary Oliver

So I am taking Mary Oliver’s advice.  I am paying attention to childhood cancer.  I am paying attention to the children because they do matter.  I have said it before and I will say it again and again and again and again:  Children are the future.  If we don’t save them, there will be no future.  Children matter very much to the world.  I am disgusted and saddened by the responses we are getting in the group Letters for RJ – people are saying they are aware and they sprout on and on and on about the things that childhood cancer has going against it, but that is not what we want.  We want real change.  We want children to stop dying every single day because cancer has a hold on them.  We want the entire world to stand up and unite against this.  Maybe I’m dreaming, but hey, it could happen.  Because anything’s possible.  And because anything’s possible, a cure is possible.  I just have to trust in that and continue to tell about it.  And I will.


One thought on “Pure Astonishment

  1. I’ll be telling and yelling it right beside you my sister!!! I’m so very proud of the courage you have and proud to call you a friend and one of the strongest people I know!! You are not dreaming sweetie together we will fight and find a cure for these kids!! You are our walking miracle to keep us fighting

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